Notes from the other side of divorce
Divorce sucks. Help make it suck less for the next person. You got through it. What do you wish you'd known?
I'm talking with people whose divorce is final about what they wish they'd known, then turning the patterns into tools for people who are still in it.
Research
not therapy
not legal advice
not a story site
Field note 01
What I'm doing
Most divorce advice comes from people selling something or people who are still furious. Not many people ask the ones who made it through, once the dust settles, what actually mattered.
So that's what I'm doing. One-on-one conversations with people looking back. Then I connect what I hear across many conversations into a divorce pattern library: the moments that blindside people, the decisions that aged well (and the ones that didn't), the stuff nobody mentions until it's too late.
That library becomes tools and guides for people who are in it right now.
- Goes in
- Private conversations
- Comes out
- Patterns, tools, guides
- Never comes out
- Your story
This is research. It isn't therapy, it isn't legal advice, and nobody's story gets posted here.
Field note 02
Who I want to talk to
- Your divorce is final, whether that was last month or 30 years ago.
- Any path: mediation, litigation, collaborative, kitchen-table DIY, or some mix of all of them.
- Kids or no kids.
- You're 18+ and live in the US (for now).
- Especially if you wish you'd done it differently. Those lessons are the whole point.
Field note 03
What happens to what you tell me
I'm training as a mediator, and I run these conversations by a mediator's ground rules: neutral, private, and on your terms.
Just us.
No recording. No AI note-taker. No transcription. Just you and me on a call.
Paper notes, shredded the same day.
I take handwritten notes, pull out the patterns, and destroy the notes within the day.
Patterns, not people.
What survives is anonymous: details changed, combined with what I hear from many other people. Never your story, your name, or anything that points back to you.
Neutral, always.
I'm not judging you, your choices, or your ex. I'm not on anyone's side.
Your call.
Skip any question. Stop any time. Change your mind later.
I'll never publish anything that identifies you. I write about patterns across many conversations, not individual stories. You can ask me to delete your info at any time.
Fine print: borrowing a mediator's habits doesn't make this mediation, and our conversation isn't legally privileged. Read exactly what's collected and where it goes.
Field note 04
What's in it for you
No gift card. Here's the honest pitch.
- 01
Be heard.
45 minutes with someone who's neutral and curious, and isn't your ex, your lawyer, or your mom.
- 02
Save someone a bad year.
What you learned the hard way could keep the next person from learning it the same way.
- 03
Get early access.
First look at the tools and the pattern library as they take shape.
Field note 05
The screener
Two minutes, no essay. Your story belongs in the conversation, not in a form. This just helps me figure out who to talk to. I'll email you myself if it's a fit.
The waitlist
Still in it? You're who this is for.
Mid-divorce, not in the US, or not up for a call? Leave your email and you'll hear when the first tools are ready. That's it. No newsletter spam.
Field note 06
Who's behind this
I'm Shelton Davis. I've spent 18+ years in UX research, industrial design, and behavioral psychology, and I founded Empathy Lab. In November 2026 I start training as a domestic relations mediator.
I'm approaching divorce the way I'd approach any broken experience: talk to the people who've lived it first.
Mediation practice: sdmediates.com